Lessons From Tea

I'm not gonna sugar-coat it. I woke up discontent this morning. The boys had a rough night, which means it didn't go so hot for Hubs and I as well. The little guys opted to awake every two-and-a-half hours for meal times, and often refused to go back down without a fight. And they were none too happy if their eyes were open. Which just so happened to be often. I found myself mentally arguing reasons why I ought not to answer their beckoning cries. And at one point I awoke and it took me a possible five minutes to fully grasp where I was and what I was doing. I couldn't figure out if I was in my bed sleeping, in a chair feeding a babe or downstairs pumping. I kid you not. Either way I knew I had fallen asleep somewhere and doing something. Fortunately for me, I was just in bed awaiting the next fallout. Sleep deprivation is one of man's oldest forms of torture. These kids are killing me slowly. Hubs and I have a running joke that no matter what we happen to be doing, we're positive we're doing it in our sleep. Yesterday I was "sleep-texting" him, the day before I was "sleep-baking". Hubs has gotten rather talented at "sleep-working", and at the moment I am multi-tasking at "sleep-pumping" and "sleep-blogging". Come to think of it, I should have posted some sort of disclaimer that I'm not responsible for any nonsense wording, excessive sarcasm or run-on sentences from this present moment until the boys reach the age of eighteen. Perhaps you all could just show me some grace from here on out...
I'm rabbit-trailing now. Back to my sinful, sleep-deprived, discontented self. Once the boys awoke at six this morning for yet another premature feeding, I dragged my sorry self out of bed. My countenance looked about at pretty as my sad, sad bed-head, no doubt. I let Hubs rest up while I prepared bottles, scooped up the Twins of Mass Destruction, cleaned their dirty britches and proceeded to feed their hungry little mouths...with my eyes firmly closed. I chose to forgo the whole burping session, rolled them back in bed and proceeded to do the same myself. When I awoke for the day a short hour later, my discontentment awoke alongside me. I decided to let it be my companion for a short while today. (Never a good choice.) Even my morning coffee couldn't shake it's negative effects. My interactions with my children were increasingly short. Patience seemed limited. And grace became optional. All I could think about was crawling back into my warm, cozy bed and burrowing down...for about a month. Perhaps no one would look for me there.
Since the boys kept us up all night, I decided I shall keep them up all day...thus thwarting any planned escapades they may have for tonight. It works in theory, right? After a morning of school, poopy diapers, sleep-deprived boys and many warmed bottles of milk, I decided to reward myself with a ten minute tea time. I do love my tea...it's a runner-up to coffee for me. One particular brand of tea I have comes with these little one-liners attached to the bag. Little nuggets of wisdom to ponder. Usually they're quite corny. But every time I have to read them. Without fail. It's kind of like your horoscope or fortune cookies...I don't believe a word they say, but it's always interesting to have a gander. Besides, these days one complete sentence tends to be a lot for this pathetic momma to process. Contemplating my tea bag wisdom is the most challenge this brain of mine receives lately. Sad. But true.
This particular time the one-liner was an eye-opener. I even paused to read it twice.

Grace indeed DOES bring contentment. Grace DID bring contentment to the fatigued, hopeless world so long ago. Grace STILL WILL conquer discontentment. Daily. Had I forgotten? Ought I choose to live in the present moment of circumstances? Shall I rely on my tired body and brain to determine my actions and attitudes?

A small voice inside this tired, discontented soul silently shrills out, "no!"

 And the more I ponder the statement it grows. Louder and stronger, "No, No!"

As I practice contentment in thankfulness it shrieks out louder still, "NO! NO! NO!"

Then I dig in His Word and am reminded all of what grace has DONE, IS DOING and CONTINUES TO DO it refuses to be silenced!

"NO, NO, NO...A HUNDRED TIMES NO!!"

I choose not to forget, to live beyond circumstances, to rely on more than just self. Daily I shall strive to choose grace. To choose joy and thankfulness. Contentment isn't the goal, it's the reward.

Who would have thought God could use a tea bag and the three little words it contains?