"The Talk"

I knew it was coming. For almost a year now I have sensed with my maternal ESP that "the talk" would indeed be taking place soon. As it should, considering the ages and stages that my daughters are at. I'm not a believer that there is a magical age in which the talk should take place....I firmly believe that different children are able to handle such delicate information at different times. As it were, last night was such a time for one of my offspring. Glory be. We have skirted the issue in the past, answering questions that have come up age-appropriately. We've discussed women's cycles, the differences between boys and girls and how babies come out. But I knew the time was coming soon where more information was necessary. Like how babies got "in there" in the first place.
I have been mentally preparing myself; reading books, talking with mothers of older daughters and so forth. Praying, psyching myself up and rehearsing. But I have come to the conclusion that you're never fully ready for "the talk". There's no ifs, ands or buts about it...it's just plain awkward. Unless you are a very open type of person whom discusses what fallopian tubes and ovaries are over dinner with your two year old in preparation for the big day. Not that there's anything wrong with that...it's just not me.
I have done some deep introspection to answer the question as to why "the talk" is so awkward for me, and there are few conclusions I can come up with. Let me fill you in.

• It's just so darn private and personal. Not a daily topic of interest in most homes. Unless, of course, the telly is on non-stop, allowing children to obtain juicy tid-bits. Which is portrayed terribly wrong, in my opinion. If that's the case, then I guarantee your kids can out-teach you in all things regarding physical intimacy. With 99% inaccuracy, no doubt.
• It will lead to questions in which no parent desires to answer. Deeply personal and awkwardly uncomfortable. And yet you still have to look them in the eye and answer each and every one. Gulp.
• There's a hidden fear of mine that "the talk" will turn on an automatic hormone-fueled switch in that otherwise innocent child. Laugh if you will, but I have read about other mothers whom have had the same fear. I just choose to be transparent about it.
• It's awkward to ponder the thoughts that run through your child's mind upon their enlightenment. Especially in regards to you and their father. Horrors! You all know what I'm talking about...remember back to the day when you were grossed out about your own parents. (Are you all cringing with me? Let's return back from our trip down memory lane. Ewww.)
• A part of me is left feeling that I've robbed my child of her youthful innocence. Now, I fully understand that this is not true, but I just can't help picturing that the veil of truth has been ripped clean off her eyes.
• Somewhere in the very depths on my mind I wonder if I truly have the healthiest view on intimacy and if I'm qualified enough to share such details. To be brief: I feel terribly inadequate. Perhaps from my own failures of my youth, or being a spectator of unhealthy marriages while growing up. Or it could be even perhaps that I've never travelled down this road thus leaving me a bit unsteady and unconfident. Or even still, maybe I just understand the weight of responsibility that God has bestowed upon me as a parent to teach, yet still shield and guard her heart. A delicate balance. To know how much to say, and how much not to.

All that said, I feel entirely grateful that I was the one to be able to share God's gift to marriage with her. Some parents are more comfortable giving their children a book to read, some wait for the school health class, while others assume that media and their children's peers will fill them in. I felt incredibly privileged to be the one. Terrified, but privileged. My opportunity came up through a library book, actually. One about chinchillas. Of all things. Hubs came home from the library with them when I noticed her reading. Quite intently, in fact. After some investigation I found she was reading the chapter on mating. Complete with pictures. I seized the opportunity. And since it was in reference to animals, I thought it a safe approach. There have been a series of events in regards to animal mating that have led up to "the talk", actually. They have been given vague information in relation to animal behaviours, but just haven't fully seen the correlation between humans and animals. In talking with her about animals and mating, she finally connected the two. It was as though the light finally switched on. But it was still dim. So I had to fill in some gaps. To which I was responded to as I fully expected. "EWW!" I carefully maneuvered through some difficult questions. All the while striving to portray a healthy, Christian perspective. Confident on the outside, squirming like a mouse in a trap on the in. And when all was said and done I tucked her in bed, kissed her, and retreated downstairs to inform Hubs the deed was done. I may have even shed a tear or two about my baby girl becoming aware of the secrets of the world...but that's just who I am. I can't help it. And although I'm glad that my girls are growing up in every different way, there's still that ever so small part of me that wishes they could remain young and innocent forever. But, they can't. And that's okay.
One down....two to go.
P.S. My absolute favorite question asked of me during our talk...."Do you have to do that every time you want to have a baby?" :o)