Connecting

I was asked by my eleven year old the other night, "Mom...can we start working on my quilt?"

For Christmas she had received a really neat kit to make a small log cabin quilt. Material and instructions included. And Hubs and I had bought her a simple and small starter sewing machine.

Now, I must be honest and admit I wasn't thoroughly enthusiastic about starting such a project. There's lots of concentration needed, patterns to read, lots of cutting, lots of stray strings to clean up. As with most things in parenting, it takes time and energy. And after a day of homeschooling, housekeeping, disciplining, nurturing and correcting...the lazy side of parenting threatens to take over. To be brutally honest.

Allow me to rabbit trail but for a moment...or so....

There's a stage that all children reach when parenting becomes much less about physical fatigue and much more about mental fatigue. I no longer am awakened at night by hungry babies or restless toddlers (praise the Lord! Lack of sleep and I are not BFF's...). No, my parental duties now allow me the pleasure of physical rest. However, the mental demand is often great. Hubs and I have had the honor of working with children of all ages for the past almost fourteen years of our married lives. There's a common occurrence that we've noticed. All children reach an age where they become difficult to understand. Usually around twelve or thirteen years of age. And rightfully so, with all their bodily and hormonal changes. I doubt they even understand themselves. (I know I didn't at that age!) I have decided that there's one of two roads that I can take in regards to this occurrence. I can either ignore it; grow distant with my child out of lack of sympathy or understanding. Or I can embrace these changes; work with my child..continually strive to understand them and meet their needs through that incomprehensible time. I can become interested in the things that interest them. The lazy parent in me tells me to lay back, put my feet up, have another cup of coffee and it'll soon be past. The dutiful parent in me quietly listens to the sirens going off, warning me that this is in fact the most crucial moment in my child's life..and if I'm lazy I will miss "it". The opportunity to connect, to learn, to share. I will admit that undoubtedly I miss many of these opportunities. Often due to my own lazy parenting....or just a lack of prioritizing. There's always more laundry that needs to be done, rooms that need to be cleaned, other activities that are far more enticing, always something that's demanding of my attention. I can easily blame shift my parental laziness towards something that may sound justified. When in fact, my number one parental priority should be learning my children. Growing as a parent whilst they grow as children. Fortunately homeschooling makes it somewhat easier to do so. Being around them twenty-four/seven lends itself to such simplicity. I am grateful for that. But I have learned that even in the simplest of circumstances it can become far too easy to be available physically, yet not emotionally. To do the necessary tasks, yet pass up the simple gift of purposed connectedness.

I took time after school to just sit and watch my children. It's rather interesting if you take advantage of such an opportunity. To silently watch their interactions with one another. Yet also their solitary play. I so enjoy their individual personalities. Their different stages and phases in life. To try to comprehend the way their developing minds and emotions function. They are unique and a wonder to me. They deserve my affection and attention. Whether I "feel" like it or not. Even if I'm convinced that I've reached mental exhaustion.

So, when my daughter asked me to begin her quilting project with her, all these thoughts began to flood my mind. How easy it would have been to reply, "Maybe another time"....as I have so many times before. But that other time may not be asked of me. She just may grow weary of seeking my companionship. And so, selfishness aside, we sat down and began the project. Together...her and I. Sewing, teaching, learning....and connecting.

Parenting is but a brief period in time. Opportune windows are small. I want to make the most of both.