Grocery Shopping Secrets...

Last night was an evening of enlightenment. I learned an amazing thing. It just may save you and your family money in the long run. You might even shed a few pounds. It quick, it's easy, and best of all...it's cheap. And today, because of my great compassion for women grocery shoppers worldwide, I will share my secret with you all.
It happened purely by mistake, actually. Last evening I decided to do my grocery shopping. I had procrastinated for about a week in doing so. Milk was low, juice was gone, snack supplies were minimal, and toilet paper was being rationed. (Well, it would have been soon, anyway.) I debated. I could give them oatmeal for breakfast, served with kool-aid. Cheese slices and toast for snack. But I had already been doing that for the past two days. It was time. I couldn't delay any longer. However, that would mean that I would have to change. I was all comfy cozy in my jammie pants and t-shirt. As much as I would like, I can't bring myself to leave the house in my jammie pants. I know it's kind of an "in" thing...but I just can't do it. That and wear socks to bed. I think there's an unwritten law about such things. A clothing code of ethics, if you will. At least there was for me growing up. So, I pulled some freshly washed jeans out of the dryer and threw 'em on. Now, you and I both know that there's something mysterious that happens to freshly washed and dried jeans. We squeeze them on and then find it necessary to do squats in order for them to fit again. Just what happens in that dryer? Or, could it be that in the two hours that it takes to clean them; that I have gained about two pounds? It sure felt like it. For a split second I debated whether to yank them off and throw my pink jammies back on. I did fifteen more squats for extra measure instead. But then a thought occurred to me. ALL of my jeans are feeling like this lately. Sigh. It could possibly have something to do with those late night chip binges. I grabbed my husbands oversized spring coat to cover any excessive bulges, and headed for the grocery store. While shopping from aisle to aisle, the uncomfortable tightness around the larger portion of my backside reminded me of the things on my grocery list that I didn't need. As did the whooshing sound from my thighs that kept ringing in my ears. Mmmmm...Velveeta! I love Velveeta! Especially with chili and tortilla chips!!Whoosh, whoosh....Better stick to blueberries... This process continued the entire length of the grocery store. And that night I learned something very valuable. Tight fitting jeans are a deterrent to junk food. It's true. My taste buds cried, "YES!" while my cellulite screamed, "NO!" It was the most intense internal battle. I came home exhausted. And I made a vow from that night on...I will never grocery shop in sweatpants again. Take my advice. If you want to shed some pounds, or even save a few bucks...wear tight fitting jeans grocery shopping.
Words of wisdom, my friends...words of wisdom.