For The Parent Who Is Growing Weary...

When Hubs and I started out on this parenthood journey 13 short years ago, we knew we'd be freakish in nature. In reference to the world peering in, that is. Right from the moment they were born we chose to go a bit against the flow. And when we opted to homeschool, it wasn't without much speculation from onlookers. But we didn't care; and fortunately our children were young enough to not care as well. Every parent has the right to make choices that they believe are right in their own eyes, after all. And for us and our family...this was right. There were and have been many things that we have chosen for our children as well that stick out from the rest of the world. And once again; I'm completely okay with standing out from what the world deems as "normal". I'm a bit of a rebel at heart that way.
Recently, though, in the past six months (give or take) our family has morphed and shifted into a new phase of life. Not just the baby phase, but the teenage phase as well. We're slowly watching our eldest be enticed by the world, so to speak. Since being introduced to other teenagers around her, we've watched her play the comparison game. And we all know what comparison leads to...it's lifelong companion, "discontentment". I can almost see the wheels turn as she peeks into the lives of her peers whom are given far more freedoms than herself. And as she slowly gains an independent attitude about herself (as all young adults ought to), we find her questioning. Our motives, our choices, our parenting. It's downright hard some days. I know we're not the first parents to go through this delicate stage in life. I knew it would come. And I knew it would be challenging. And no doubt there are onlookers whom still choose to question our choices. I have heard a hundred times from parents whom have completed the child-rearing process: If you're too strict they'll rebel. Or: If you give them too much freedom they'll rebel. Ironically...I have never run into any parent that seems to have found that magical, invisible line in the middle. Never. Turns out all children will, in fact, rebel in one way or another. It's just our sin nature within us. Could it be perhaps that there are no perfect parents, thus no perfect children? Hmmm....one could speculate so. But there are, however, so many parents prepared to offer up advice on the art of raising of children. I'm not trying to be sarcastic here (okay, perhaps a little), but I just seem to conclude one thing: No matter what we choose, it's not always going to be right all time. Which is what we tell our children. We try hard to never give the impression of perfection. We're not going to do this right. We will make mistakes. We will look back at the "coulda, shoulda woulda's". Imperfection is inevitable.
But through the eyes of a child, all of this is not so easily understood. A teenager, in all of their naivety, thinks they know what is best for them. They think they would be good at setting and following their own boundaries. And I have to commend that about them...they truly and wholeheartedly believe these things with all honesty. I remember. All too well. And I remember falling on my face big time in humility. As it were, I was my own worst parent. Who knew?
I grow so weary in this parenting thing.  Some days I feel the life being sucked right out of me. Days where I'm sure I've sprouted forty more grey hairs within a span of two hours. The daily challenges take it's mental and emotional toll. The prolonged talks spent reasoning with a teenage child seem endless. And I find myself repeating the same thing in the end: You may not understand all of what I'm telling you right now. I get that. Some day, when you have the responsibility of parenting, you just might. Ugh. Words that are passed from generation to generation. And we're just at the beginning of the teenage years. With only the first of five teenage children. I would love to blog about how homeschooling has kept my children's hearts from wanting to wander...but it hasn't. Or how I am so good at discerning decisions regarding my child-rearing...but I'm not. I'd love to tell you my girlies get along with one another and are the best of friends...but they're not. And I'd really love to report that keeping them nestled in the safety of my care has fostered an environment to always make good choices...but it hasn't. I've come to grips with these things. Turns out our family is far more "normal" than the world just may perceive. It would be so easy to just drop our guard and allow our kids to do whatever they want. No battles, no friction.
Still...I believe this job is too important, too big to grow weary just yet. I know there's a long road ahead before we're ready to let these kids loose. I'm fully aware I may not be liked or favored in my children's eyes from time to time. A part of me wants to wince back in hurt. Another part wants to suck it up and press on. And still another part wants to run away to Bermuda and lay on a beach until the teenage years are over. Just keepin' it real.
So, for the parent who is growing weary...press on. Don't get sidetracked peering into the lives of others; wondering why their kids are so "good". Questioning how they can parent so flawlessly. You never know what battles they're facing at home. Nobody has perfect kids. Nobody is the perfect parent. We're all just doing the best we can with what we know. We're all succeeding in some areas, and failing in others. It's hard. These are our prized possessions...these children of ours. Our biggest responsibility we've been gifted with in this lifetime. Certainly to be handled with care, caution and compassion. There's far too much work ahead to grow weary now...