Truth and Grace

Several years ago my eyes were opened to a little thing called "grace". It wasn't an overnight awakening, but rather a slow revealing. Still learning about it, in fact.
Growing up in a little Baptist church in the country, we were faithful Sunday morning and Sunday evening attenders. If the doors were open, we were there...and we were taught that was one of the measurements of a good faith. We dressed in our Sunday best, recited our Sunday School verses and played our Sunday role well. I watched as other families practiced the same rigid religion. And I noticed something: very few people were truly genuine...truly real in their relationship. I would go to their homes and watch movies that made me blush, listened to language that was less-than-church-worthy, catch a glimpse of relationships that were much different in the four walls of their home than underneath the steeple at church. And at the young age I was at...I learned that this was what faith must be. A group of masked people...all playing a particular part in the body of Christ.
I quickly adapted to this way of life as a teenager. And then I grew into adulthood to be like the ones I grew up watching. Plastic. Pretending I was more than what I was. And internally...judgmental. So judgmental of those whom didn't play their part well. You know...the ones whom showed up for church irregularly. The ones whom I stumbled upon at the grocery store and (intentionally) would notice the liquor mixed in with their purchases. The ones who smoked and cussed. I measured their faith by my own standards.
And then, my eyes were opened to a New Testament way of living. Grace living. The understanding that we're all mere humans, struggling to fit in to a world in which we don't belong. There are no measuring sticks. We all fall short of perfection. Way short, in fact. (Self included.) With eyes wide open, I was humbled, embarrassed, ashamed...yet amazingly...freed. Freed from feeling the need to view others in such a harsh way; from feeling the need to live up to another person's standards. Freed from feeling that if another didn't meet up to my standard of perfection I must denounce them in my circle of companions. (Shamefully...I lost many opportunities to build into relationships from such a ridiculous way of thinking.) There was an awakening to a joy that I had never quite experienced in my relationship with God that I had never before. A joy in understanding that at my ugliest; my most imperfect state...HE. STILL. WANTS. ME.
But. In all things there must be balance. So I'm learning. Lately I've been pondering more on this grace-living life, and how easy it is to take advantage of this grace. I watch and listen to statements from other believers in like faith. And statements I find myself chanting over and over in my own head. I've noticed a common thread.

"God loves me still...just the way I am."

"God knows my heart."

"I answer to God, not man."

While I wholeheartedly echo, "Amen" to these statements...I'm afraid we've found a loophole within this thing of "grace". Because, while God absolutely DOES love me the way I am...He doesn't want me to just be content with that. And while He DOES know my heart...actions are still pretty important (faith without works is dead, correct?). And while I DO answer to God...I still have a responsibility to my fellow man.
Allow me to put an example to my words. I read a great article this morning on modesty. In particular, modesty in relation to Christian women. Now, I know there is a fine line of defining such a thing, and everyone's preferences and standards vary so incredibly much...so I would be amiss to pretend that I know exactly where that fine line is. (Nor do I condone defining what that is for all women.) I know pretty much where that line stands for me, but my measurement cannot be the final, end-all. But, when we start excusing our choices, all in the name of grace, and use statements such as "I wear what I want, because I'm not accountable to man. God loves me just the way I am. If a man stumbles because of what I'm wearing, that's his fault" (various comments from various people)...there's a certain danger that we've all-too-quickly dismissed. We've not taken into account FULLY what God may be asking of us. We've not questioned how or if our actions may be affecting another believer, or even a non-believer. If we blanket all our choices in "grace"...we've discredited an obligation to God, and to one another. There's a certain lackadaisical mindset I fear we may obtain as grace-living believers: I can do what I want, when I want... no one should be judging me, anyway.
In my own life I'm realizing I'm guilty of this way of thinking. I keep my Bible closed, convincing myself that God knows my heart...that I just don't have time in this busy season of life right now. But, in all reality...while He DOES know my heart, He also knows my disobedience in this area...and it's damaging my own spiritual growth. I can make so many choices daily based on this lazy way of thinking, knowing that grace can cover anything. And while grace DOES cover it all...relying on that fact stunts my relationship with Him. Although I won't lose my salvation over it...I'm consciously choosing to put myself and my choices, thoughts and feelings first. As a religious society, I think we've grown comfortable with things the way they are, based on our own thinking rather than the raw truth of the Bible. All for the sake of grace.
But, what if? What if I truly and purposely sought God for all the little details? What if we sought to make the "greys" more clear? And I don't mean with the intent of classifying choices as black or white for everyone else. I mean personally. Deeply personally. I could care less if another woman makes the choice that yoga pants are not okay for her. What I DO care about is seeking out if they are okay for me. Sometimes...instead of asking those types of questions for ourselves, we're far too quick to be defensive to the question laid out in front of us. Perhaps deeper inside there lies the insecurity of our own choices...so we quickly blanket the entire question with "grace".
What if we scrutinized every choice we made: every movie we watched, every clothing we put on, every conversation we had, every place we went...and instead of labeling it "right" or "wrong", asked ourselves, "Is this the absolute best for me and for those I influence around me?" (If we diligently search, I truly believe we will know the answers for ourselves...) Maybe at the end of the day, rather than sloughing off our poor choices in knowing that grace will cover it all; we would instead take intentional steps towards making progress in ourselves and thus positively impacting those around us. Maybe we would be more sensitive to asking for forgiveness, and better seek out the very specifics of what God desires for us as a unique individual.
I've got a lot of work to do in understanding the fullness of this grace. While I have so enjoyed reaping the benefits of it's freedom, I also know there needs to be a better balance in practicing the responsibility of it within my own life. Yes, a thousand times yes...we ought to live by grace. We all absolutely need more grace. Both in the giving and in the receiving. But...we also all have a responsibility and an accountability that cannot be dismissed. Grace paid too high a price for us all to remain comfortable the way we are...