"The Lie"

The girls' first attempt at a "selfie"...

Our older girls are fourteen and fifteen.
Right around the same age that I started believing "the lie".
At around that time, all my other friends had given in to the false truth...I was just a late convert, I guess. It was right at their age that I noticed it: eyes-wide-open to a (false) shameful self-awareness that on our own, we women just are "not enough". And so, as teenagers, we bleached our hair. (Guilty.) We stuffed our bras. (Guilty.) We donned false eyelashes. (Tried it...it was a miserable fail.) We painted our faces to cover up "ordinary". (Still guilty.)We straightened our hair if it was curly; we curled our hair if it was straight. (Guilty.) As we grew into adults, the lie apparently grew bigger; with time working against us, we worked harder. Even with stable lives and stable relationships, we still chose to feed the lie. Somehow we just never feel like our physical appearance is ever good enough. And society keep whispering in our ear that we "haven't got it right". Left up to their standards, we'll never get it right.
We have built a facade of security in bottles of hair color, expensive packages of make-up (promised to defy the affects of time), and pricey clothing to dress the insecurity and imperfections of our nakedness. We gaze at (photo-shopped) photos of perfection, give ear to commercialized products bragged to solve our deepest insecurities. We go to the go to the gym, deprive ourselves of food, drink our diet teas, and spend hour upon hour and dollar upon dollar to "perfect" ourselves. As if that were not enough to feed the lie, we go to medical extremes to "correct" our "imperfections": we increase our bust size, decrease our nose size, tuck here, nip there...all for the sake of fixing things that we were told by a harsh society's standards were all wrong.
While I know all these things in my head, it's my heart that struggles with putting feet to words. I have gone through many hair styles and colors, bottles of make-up, a pair of terribly uncomfortable spanx, push-up bras (who am I trying to fool? Hubs already knows...), weight changes and anti-aging remedies. I'm a work in progress. Because still...at night...when the day's make-up runs down the drain, this scraggly (graying) hair is unpinned, and I stand naked in the mirror while awaiting to dress in pajamas...truth is. I'm really not a big fan of what I see. I still give ear to the lie. As much as I'd like to believe I'm past all that teenage silliness...to some extent I'm not. I like to feel beautiful and secure...and those bottles of make-up, curling irons and clothing are still my blankets of confidence. Our society boasts, "When you look good, you feel good." I fear they've got it terribly backwards. Perhaps it should be, "When you feel good, you look good." Maybe security should come from the inside out, not the outside in. It seems that we work harder at masking the true problem rather than at revealing it's source. That maybe "feeling good" requires acceptance of who we are; who we were created to be in the raw.
Now, I will be the first to admit that I'm wholeheartedly okay with make-up, staying fit and such...saying otherwise wasn't the intent of my heart at all. But instead, maybe as women, and as Mamas raising up women, we ought to be more cautious of where our security and confidence comes from. I, for one, have work to do in this area.
I've been asked, more than once, if and when we will permit our girls to wear make-up. Because, naturally, they're at the age where most girls do. And in all honesty, I'm hesitant, but really okay with them to begin. But, I'm secretly overjoyed that they have no desire whatsoever, despite our inquiries if they'd like to or not. Perhaps they posses a bit more maturity in this area than their Mama does. Or maybe it's the simple fact that they've not yet experienced first-hand "the lie". Because, as of yet, they see no need for such foolishness. (Their words.) And, to me, they're perfectly beautiful just the way they are.

It can be a harsh world out there, my lovely girls. I would love nothing more than to protect you from this lie...from feeling like you simply aren't enough. But, in all truth, because of the world that we now live in...the lie will eventually find you. And when it does, I can only hope and pray that you will remember in your hearts: You ARE enough. You are MORE than enough. In the seasons of pressures from your peers...you ARE enough. In the seasons of loneliness and heartbreak...you ARE enough. Through the changes of carrying and birthing babies...you ARE enough. And when your body slowly shows the passing of time...you are STILL ENOUGH. Because you are "fearfully and wonderfully made" (Psalm 139:14), your physical being is everything that it's supposed to be. From the color of your hair and eyes, the naked beauty of your face, the shape of your body...it's all perfection. If you can accept and live this, your outer beauty will always mirror the incredible beauty that lies within.

 Beautiful perfection. It's how you were created.