Waiting...

We have this DVD player in our living room, one that takes a while to "warm up". Upon pressing the power button, it blinks two little words at me every single time. "Please. Wait." Over and over the words flash repetitively until the machine finally decides to show me the movie I've selected. I sarcastically chuff at it every time.
Please. Wait.
I'm not a huge fan of those words. In a season of life that refuses to wait for me, in the daily grind of hungry children, lost toys, confusing math lessons, urgent bathroom breaks...there's minimal "please wait" passes that I'm allotted. And so, as I stare at the blinking words, I fall prey to the impatience and frustration that comes along with being forced into waiting.
And while I log on to my computer to type out a well-past-due blog post...my internet reminds me yet again of this battle I struggle with. Taking TEN entire minutes and THREE re-settings of the modem, I snort and I huff. I stomp my way to switch the reset button, all the while muttering sarcastic things to myself ("well there's ten whole minutes I'll never get back..."). I can almost feel God smiling down at me...nudging me..."please. wait."
Life is just like that. The "hurry-ups" and the "slow-downs". Rarely is it ever the same, monotonous speed. Change in pace and circumstance is constant. Change is necessary.
Change is exactly what we're experiencing right now.
For eighteen years this coming weekend we've been married. And for eighteen years we've been in full-time ministry. While life around us has morphed and changed, and circumstances have ever evolved, this one and only part of our lives has remained constant. Until lately. Over the past few years we've morphed and changed. Our perspectives have shifted. And while our faith in the God we love and serve is still unwavering, the time has come for change. It was simply inevitable. Feeling that He's asking us to step out from the life of formal ministry and more into the world to informally minister...we're unsure of just what that is going to look like. Undoubtedly, it will seem bizarre to those within our faith. For sure it appears as a step backwards. But our journey is just that..."our journey".
I'd be dishonest to say I'm not a little shaken. Our comfort zone is being peeled back. The safety of a steady income is no longer an expectation. The future is wide open...and while it's rather exciting, it's also slightly unnerving. We have no stepping stone from here. No specific plan. My thoughts whirl and entangle themselves in the "what if's" and I find myself trapped in the impatience of not knowing what is to come...and God gently reminds me..."please. wait."
Big and amazing things come after the waiting. While the not-knowing is always the hardest part...it's sometimes the most faith-building and growing season in life. And so, I will wait (while practicing the "patiently") as God unfolds this beautiful next chapter in this ever-changing story of our lives. He's never written a bad one yet...