And I gasp.
Now. Let it be known, I think the female body is a wonderful, beautiful thing. With our curves and our swurves (yes, I just made that word up). Babies are created; our bodies swell in accordance. Our men adore our features that are so indifferent from theirs. Indeed, the womanly body is to be admired and celebrated. HOWEVER. Some celebrations of the body should just be done in more of a private manner. Public display has become no very nonchalant. Leaving some to the imagination is just always a better idea.
Yes, this post just so happens to be written from a Mother's perspective. And, yes, I find I have to assess and reassess my own choices. I am raising three little girls. Two of whom happen to be on the brink of womanhood. And as I quietly watch their ever morphing bodies, I am reminded of the great responsibility that lays ahead of me. Not only in the teaching, but in the practicing what I'm teaching. Admittedly, I have my own insecurities and failures. I find times where I want to push the envelope on this modesty thing as well. And it's always, always, always due to that nasty comparison problem we women have.
It's a very delicate balance, this modesty issue. What's modest to me just may not be modest to a Middle-Eastern woman. And what's modest to Plain Jane at church may be overtly conservative in my book. Which all boils down to one thing: Every WOman must be persuaded in her own mind. The problem? We often tend to bypass our own gut instincts. Instead of looking deep within for an answer, we search our culture. The media. We look up to our spiritual leaders. We asses everything in accordance to the comparison safety net. In the end, it's a terrible way to dictate what's good, better and best for our own selves.
And sloooowly, as the world accepts just a little more immodesty....our "safe" religious community does as well. To be perfectly honest, I battle every week within the walls of our own church with the modesty issue. I have seen just as much boobage spilling, g-string wearing, and skin-tight, thigh-high attire in a weekly service as I do at the local fair. No joke. As adults...and ones calling ourselves "Christians", we should all be aware of the impact we have on others. I tend to shy away from such controversial topics. But sometimes, I think in doing so we grow lazy in admitting where we're falling short. We have a responsibility. To our young girls; whom watch the example we set. To our young men; whom are learning to guard their eyes, hearts and thoughts. To our fellow women; whom struggle with their own insecurities. To the men; whom battle daily with purity of thoughts and faithfulness of heart.
In a nutshell: I. Just. Don't. Think. We. Get. It. Point blank.
Guilty? Yep. Here as well. Red faced and ashamed. Finding that fine-line of being in the world, but not of it...it's tricky. I'm not that into turtle-necks and skirts down to my ankles. I'm not talking extreme here. It's not a legalism thing. There is no definitive line for everyone of appropriate/inappropriate. But we are seriously dancing with disaster if we don't all wake up and make some better judgement calls. For the sake of our youth. For our marriages. For our fellow brother's or sister's personal struggles.
Within the four walls of our home we have a bit of a two-part test as we travel this whole new realm with our daughters. The first test is that it must pass Mama's scrutiny. The second, and perhaps most crucial part, it must then be accepted by Dad. You see, Dad just so happens to be a great judge when it comes to modesty. He is, after all, a man. He thinks like a man, breathes like a man..so, it only makes sense. We women...we just don't operate like men. We were never intended to. Years after we wed, Hubs made it very clear that one of the things that attracted him my way was modesty. (I must have been going through a good phase in life at that point...for I've certainly had my fair share of ups and downs regarding modesty.) He has rather enjoyed through our 16 years of marriage that only he knows what's under these clothes. He's not into displaying a trophy wife. Which is fabulous, because it takes a whole lotta pressure of this woman. We appreciate that particular aspect of our lives is between just the two of us. Our bodies are sacred. Just ours to share. To be celebrated by only us two. If that isn't just plain sexy, than we've definitely got something wrong in our culture. (Oh wait...we do.) THAT is the kind of man I want my daughters to find. The kind of man that strives to keep his heart guarded. But you will be hard-pressed catching that kind of man's eye displaying skin everywhere for the rest of the world to see. He just may pass that kind of woman on by.
As we travel down this path of parenthood, I'm aware. I'm guilty, I'm terribly frustrated, I'm continually humbled. My girls...no doubt they will be the same. Guilty. Frustrated. Humbled. The journey of womanhood isn't easy. The world isn't so kind. Our own motives aren't always so pure. The comparison just may easily crush us into making some poor judgement calls. Fortunately, for us, we can always assess. And reassess.
Oh, my little girlies. Beauty truly is skin deep. You are all gorgeous.
You don't need to prove to the world that you are.
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