The Faith Factor

Faith.

A giant leap into the great unknown.

No predictable outcomes, and no control of the end results.

I love how little children trust. They are fully aware that you are their protector, their advocate and their guidance. They simply follow. When our girls were toddlers we would toss them into the air and they would squeal in delight. Confident and reliant on us for their safe landing. (Which I only dropped one accidentally once. Don't mock...it happens.)

I feel a bit tossed in the air lately...and I'm not so sure of a safe landing. I'm a bit ashamed to admit. Faith is a funny thing. We can all (and all have) talk pretty big about trusting God with things. We grew up righteously singing "Trust and Obey". Our finances, our health, our children, our spouses. Little things or big things. But talk is cheap. Application is everything. And when one of those things are tossed up, the faith that we think is so strong is challenged. I know the right things to say. I know how I ought to feel when the challenges come. "Knowing" and "doing" dwell in two entirely separate galaxies.

While I try to blend those two galaxies a little closer together, there's a few things I'm learning. One, I allow my thoughts to dwell too much in the land of "what if's". It's my humanistic way of trying to maintain a sense of control. Of which I have none over, anyway. Control is a false illusion that we create to keep our little world "safe". My thoughts captivate my heart. If I dwell too long on anything, my heart is vulnerable. Two, there is peaceful rest in God's Word. I find myself digging in more often lately. When fear or worry grips me, His words are Prozac to my wary soul. There's such a renewing focus when I remember what His thoughts are towards me. Three (and possibly most important), God wants me...all of me...to come to Him in honesty and humility. Fear, worry, distrust...He wants it all. He has very broad shoulders and is able to handle it when I tell Him that I'm not so sure I trust what He is doing. He never chastises, never reprimands. He gently reminds and consoles as any loving parent would. I always had this false sense of it being irreverent of me to tell God how I really felt. That I would lessen His love for me, or that I would backtrack my way down the ladder of spirituality. Truth is, He knows anyway. And, for future reference, there is no such ladder. In case you were wondering. There's just continual love, an abundance of grace, and sweet whispers of "I know the plans that I have for you...". And so, I work at falling back into those arms that are indeed in control. Who's plans are far greater than mine ever could be.