By The Hand

"I, Yahweh, have called You for a righteous purpose, 
and I will hold You by Your hand."
Isaiah 42:6

Recently, while walking along the streets of some local thrift shops (one of our favorite things to do these days), I instinctively reached out for the swinging hand of my boy walking alongside me. (Mind you, these boys of ours are rapidly approaching the title of "man-child". At twelve years old and a stature that will soon catch up to their Mama's...."boy" almost seems an inaccurate description. But. To me, a "boy" they will always affectionately be.) When he welcomed my hand in his, the reality of his age and pubescent season in life occurred to me. I almost pulled away, but thought better of it and inquired: "You're not embarrassed to hold your Mama's hand in public?!" To which his prompt reply was, "Why would I be? You're my mom!" No shame. No awkwardness. Unconcerned about what onlookers think or perceive. Pure and untainted by the world. I'm aware that the world (and the enemy therein) will have plenty of opportunities in the future to root its distorted perceptions in the hearts of my boys, but for now - I will cherish the beauty of such innocency. His tender heart welcomes the love, affection and care from his Mama and rests in the knowledge of that truth. 

The "God the Father" and "Jesus the Son" relationship as depicted in the Bible is one in which I struggle to fully grasp. But when I read through Isaiah and ponder his prophetic revealing of the Savoir that was to come, I'm left undone by the tenderness in which the God of the universe speaks to and about His Son. My human mind cannot comprehend what it was like to be Jesus. Fully God and yet also man. Flesh AND Spirit. And yet fully God. (Mind blown.) God knew the obstacles He would face: the physical, mental and emotional anguish He would have to endure. And so, He gently reminds Him of who He is, what He's called to do and how He will sustain Him through it. I will hold you by Your hand. Tenderness leading. Uninhibited trust. 

The past several years I've found myself stumbling my way through. God has intensely penetrated my heart in such deep ways that I've fallen short at finding the right words to precisely describe both the challenges as well as the joys. It's difficult to articulate how a peaceful, calm joy and a deep, heart-wrenching sorrow can co-exist...but that is the reality or perhaps the dichotomy of this life. Mountains and valleys. This visual illustration of God, taking my hand in His; leading and comforting me like a child, depicts perfectly what life has presently been like. I toddle around, working my way through various obstacles, difficult decisions and pretty big emotions. Sometimes I hold tight to the sure hand that wants to lead me though, and other times I find myself walking ahead, seeing only the mountain that's in my view and not realizing until I look back that I've unknowingly let go of His grip. But when I refocus on the source of all comfort, the mountain slowly fades into the background as I grasp the outstretched hand that was patiently waiting for me.  And He gently reminds me of who I am, what He's called me to do and reminds me that He will sustain me through it. "I will hold you by Your hand." And, like a child, I choose yet again to trust.