Just The Beginning...

So....here goes...my first attempt at putting a whirlwhind of happenings, thoughts and events on paper...er...computer. I must admit, I tend to be a very private and guarded person with my thoughts, so this may be a bigger challenge than orginally thought!
Lately I'm trying to wrap my mind around the fact that no matter how old I get, no matter what stage in life, and no matter how much I have grown in my walk with the Lord; my faith will continually be challenged.
Have you ever had one of those "smooth" spells in life where all is going well? Life just seems to be steady and predictable. I love those times. But isn't it funny how we never seem to grow during times like that? No...that would be too easy! It's during the unpredictable times...those "bump in the road" times that our faith is really put to the test.
I'm going through one of those times now. God keeps whispering, "Trust me. I know what is best for you." You'd think I would have learned that by now! And yet, here I go again...worrying...fretting. As if I'm really in control, anyways! I think the hardest part of faith is simply understanding that sometimes bad is good. Confusing?! I thought so. Let me rephrase that. In my human mind it is hard to desire to go through the hard or "bad" things in order to see the good that comes with the end result. It's just so hard to "let" God (ha!) do what He needs to do in order for Him to show me what His "best" is. Maybe you're better at allowing God to be God than I am. And maybe you've never been caught between your spirit being willing and your flesh being weak. I sure know I've been there...and apparently often like to revisit! (Darn my flseh!) I find myself having amazing peace and freedom; and then fear and worry, all in a matter of a two-minute span! Talk about continually turning things over to God...it's amazing I am finding time to get anything else done!
But I do have to say, I AM BLESSED. There has not been one minute on this ride called "life" that I have regretted being a child of God. I have full confidence that He is the one and only reason that I have made it through thus far. He is the reason that I find this incredible joy along the ride. And although I struggle at times with completely and unguardedly trusting that He has my best intents at heart, it is all worth it. I just have to decrease so that He can increase!